Accept me for who I have become - who I am.

Accept that my life now has a somewhat sense of urgency that previously didn't exist.
While I may have 30 or 40 years to fulfil my dreams –
I also may not.
That uncertainty is ever present for me.

Please accept that physically I spent weeks having my body frayed by the knife and the drugs off and on over two years through ectopics, hysterectomies, tests and chemo.
While I appear to have recovered,
sometimes the hours on my feet teaching, looking after the kids or merely living
still take their toll but I work through it with a smile.

Please accept that emotionally my soul healing.
It sometimes has difficulty coping,
so that it dissolves into tears so much more readily.
Not dramatic, I just feel the world and life more.

Please accept that the shadow lingers.
At times the shadow diminishes and the sun shines through brilliantly
but at others it looms usually waiting for blood test results
ready to invade all rational thought.

Please accept that
I get easily annoyed with petty issues and arrogance. I have difficulty in tolerating mind games. Vanity and self pity also drive me to distraction so if I don't engage, its because my priorities have changed. Worrying about trivialities is not my style. If I want you to know something, I will tell you, then again I may not.

Please accept that my life became a jigsaw.
and the pieces are almost beautifully reassembled.
but they have not all been returned to the same place,
some have been changed and replaced for better.

Accept that
I have a new determination on living, on expressing my feelings and I am very respectful of others although sometimes you may be confronted with the fact that I am comfortable within my skin, with death, with change, with cancer and with the fact that I don't worry about society's opinions of me anymore.

Please simply accept that I have changed but that I am still me - a much better and newly improved version, ready to celebrate life and all that it offers with an open heart and an open mind. I am ready to spread my wings and fly.